Young Adult2011

Mavis Gary:
Weren't you that hate crime guy?

Matt Freehauf:
Excuse me?

Mavis Gary:
You totally were. You're the hate crime guy! Oh my God, why didn't you just say that? Now I know who you are. Matt, the hate crime guy.

Matt Freehauf:
Yes, Mavis. When when we were seniors a bunch of jocks who thought I was gay jumped me in the woods.

Mavis Gary:
That's right!

Matt Freehauf:
And hit me on the legs and dick with a crowbar.

Mavis Gary:
With a crowbar. I totally remember that.

Matt Freehauf:
It was national news. I mean, until people found out I wasn't really gay. Then it wasn't a hate crime anymore. It was a fat guy getting his ass beat.

Mavis Gary:
Didn't you get to miss a bunch of school?

Matt Freehauf:
Yes, I got to miss about six months. It was awesome.

Mavis Gary:
F***. How's your dick?

Matt Freehauf:
Not good. Not good.

Mavis Gary:
Does it work?

Matt Freehauf:
Yeah, it works. You know, it just kind of does. [makes sideways hand gesture]