The Hudsucker Proxy1994

[Following Waring Hudsucker's suicide]

Sidney J. Mussburger:
It's a pity to waste a whole Montecristo.

Board Member 1:
He could have opened the window.

Board Member 2:
Waring Hudsucker never did anything the easy way.

Myron Addison:
[crying] Yeah, but why? Why did he do it? Everything was going so well.

Sidney J. Mussburger:
What am I, a head shrinker? Maybe the man was unhappy.

Myron Addison:
He didn't look unhappy.

Board Member 4:
He didn't look rich.

Board Member 5:
Waring Hudsucker was never an easy man to figure out. He built this company with his bare hands, every step he took was a step up... except of course this last one.

Sidney J. Mussburger:
Sure, sure he was a swell fella. But when the president, chairman of the board, and owner of eighty-seven precent of the company stock drops... forty-four floors.

Board Member 6:
Forty-five!

Board Member 7:
Counting the mezzanine.

Sidney J. Mussburger:
Then the company too has a problem. Stillson, what exactly is the disposition of Waring's stock.

Stillson:
Well, as you know, Hud left no will and had no family. The company bylaws are quite clear in that event. His entire portfolio will be converted into common stock and be sold over the counter as of the first of the fiscal year following his demise.

Sidney J. Mussburger:
Meaning?

Stillson:
Well, meaning simply that Waring's stock, and control of the company, will be made available to the public January 1st.

Sidney J. Mussburger:
Do you mean to say that any slob in a smelly T-shirt will be able to buy Hudsucker stock?

Stillson:
The company bylaws are quite clear.

Myron Addison:
My God, you're animals! How can you discuss his stock when the man has just leapt forty-five floors?

Board Member 6:
Forty-four!

Board Member 7:
Not counting the mezzanine.

Sidney J. Mussburger:
Quit showboating, Addison, the man is gone. The question now is whether we're going to let John Q. Public just waltz in here and buy our company.

Board Member 4:
What are you suggesting Sidney? Certainly we can't afford to buy an controlling interest.

Sidney J. Mussburger:
Not while the stock is this strong. How soon before Hud's paper hits the market?

Board Member 8:
January 1st.

Board Member 2:
Thirty days.

Board Member 4:
Four weeks.

Board Member 5:
A month at the most!

Sidney J. Mussburger:
One month. To make the blue chip investment of the century look like a round trip ticket on the Titanic.

Board Member 7:
We play up the fact that Hud is dead.

All:
Long live Hud!

Board Member 4:
We depress the stock...

Board Member 5:
To the point where we can buy fifty precent!

Board Member 6:
Fifty-one!

Board Member 7:
Not counting the mezzanine.

Board Member 5:
It could work!

Board Member 3:
It should work!

Board Member 4:
It would work!

Sidney J. Mussburger:
It's working already. Waring Hudsucker is abstract art on Madison Avenue. What we need now is a new president who will inspire panic in the stockholder.

Board Member 6:
A puppet.

Board Member 5:
A proxy.

Board Member 2:
A pawn.

Sidney J. Mussburger:
Sure, sure. Some jerk we can really push around.