Cheaper by the Dozen 22003

Tom:
How I discipline my kids is none of your business.

Jimmy:
You know, I've been trying to say this in a nice way, but uh... well, there's a pretty good reason your kids are screw-ups.

Tom:
My kids screwed up. They are not screw-ups!

Jimmy:
That's because you're not strict enough. Parenting isn't a popularity contest, Tom, but I guess if you knew that, your kids wouldn't be so undisciplined, and you and I wouldn't be having this conversation.

Tom:
The only problem with my kids is that they're hanging out with your kids!

Jimmy:
It wasn't my daughter who got caught stealing.

Tom:
And it wasn't my son who trashed the tennis court!

Jimmy:
Do you actually think I'm screwing up my kids, Baker?

Tom:
Yeah. And one day, they're gonna crack.

Jimmy:
Well, why don't we test that theory... on Labor Day!? Murtaughs vs. Bakers... for the cup! What do you say?

Tom:
You're on. We'll see you there.