How the Grinch Stole Christmas2001

Grinch:
[arrives on the roof with Max] Come on, Max. It's our first stop.

Narrator: ...the old Grinchy Claus hissed, and he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist. [the Grinch prepares to go down the chimney with rope on his feet] He'd slide down the chimney, a rather tight pinch but if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.

Grinch:
[imitating sports announcer] He's planning a double-twisting interrupted by forward-flying 2-and-a-half with a combo tuck and pike. High degree of difficulty. [jumps high in the air as bungee jumping while vocalizing] Whoo! [leans closer to the chimney] ? LAA-LAAA-LAAAAAAA!! ? [lands in the chimney upside down, and gets stuck since he gained a couple of pounds from the Whobilation]

Narrator:
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.

Grinch:
Blasted water weight. Goes right to my hips. [struggles his arms to free himself as he slides down and lands and hits his head by the fireplace] Ow! Gee! [looks at the view of the living room]

Narrator:
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue...

Grinch:
[to the narrator; breaking the 4th wall again] Shh! A little more stealth, please.

Narrator:
[quietly] ...where the little Who stockings are all hung in a row.

Grinch:
(That's better. Anyways...) These stockings...

Narrator:
[normal voice] ...he grinned...

Grinch:
...are the first thing(s) to go. [picks out a jar of moths] Okay, fellas. Chow time. [frees the moths, sticks his head back up just as the moths eat the stockings. Then, the Grinch lowers a hose, and sucks everything into his bag, as he laughs evilly]

Narrator:
Then he slunk to the icebox. [The Grinch hugs the fridge into place.]

Grinch:
Slunk? [opens up the fridge] Eee.

Narrator: He eyed the Whos' feast. He took the Who-Pudding. [The Grinch throws a plate of Who pudding away.] He took... the Roast Beast.

Grinch:
HIKE! [tosses the Roast Beast in a football hike position]

Narrator: [as the Grinch messes everything up the fridge] He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash. Why, that Grinch, he even took their last can of Who-Hash. [The Grinch opens up the cupboard to reveal a last can of Who-Hash inside in it just as Cindy opens her bedroom door.] Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.

Grinch:
And now...

Narrator:
...grinned The Grinch...

Grinch:
[snatches the tree] ...I'll stuff up the tree.

Narrator: And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove! When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.

Cindy:
Excuse me.

Grinch:
Eee! [stops and hides behind the tree]

Narrator: The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who daughter who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.

Cindy:
Santa Claus, what are you doing with our tree?

Narrator: But you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick... [Grinch coughs] ...he thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick.

Grinch:
[imitating Santa] Why-hy-hyy, my sweet little tot...

Narrator:
...the fake Santa Claus lied...

Grinch: ...there's a light on this tree that won't... light on one side. So, I'm taking it home to my w-wo-orkshop, my dear. [laughs and Cindy giggles] I'll fix it up there... and I'll bring it... back here.

Cindy:
Santa, what's Christmas really about?

Grinch:
[pops out through the tree, startling Cindy] Vengeance! Er, I mean...presents...I suppose.

Cindy:
Hmm. I was afraid of that.

Narrator: And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head, and he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.

Cindy:
Santa?

Grinch:
[sharply] What?!

Cindy:
Don't forget the Grinch. I know he's mean and hairy and smelly. His hands might be cold and clammy... but I think he's actually kinda... sweet.

Grinch:
"Sweet"?! You think he's sweet?

Cindy:
(Mm-hm.) Merry Christmas, Santa.

Grinch:
[flinches, covers his ears and groans, but Cindy Lou goes back to bed]

Narrator:
And when Cindy Lou went up with her cup...

Grinch:
Nice kid. Bad judge of character.

Narrator: ...he went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up. [the Grinch stuffs the tree up the Chimney, grabs the Christmas lights and goes up the chimney] (Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.) And the last thing he took was the log for their fire. On their walls, he left nothing but some hooks and some wire. And the one speck of food that he'd left in the house was a crumb, that was even too small for a mouse. Then he slithered and slunk with a smile most unpleasant, around each Who home, and he took every present.

Grinch:
[uses a saw to cut a hole with a Christmas tree on top of it, and it falls down as the he emerges from the hole] Clearance sale. Everything must go. [sucks up Christmas stuff even the cat on a chair, and takes it out.] What... now? [a cat attacks his face]

[The scene cuts to the Grinch snatching the ring in a box away from Martha, then forms an oval on the window with hands pressed by the glass while sucking on it. He opens the bedroom door to the Mayor of Whoville, and laughs evilly, but quickly covers his mouth as Augustus talks in his sleep]

Augustus May Who:
Martha, have you ever kissed a man who lost his tonsils twice?

Grinch:
[imitating Martha Whovier] No, silly. [picks up Max] But it's an experience that I've always longed for. Kiss me, you fool! [This makes Max grow big eyes, making the Mayor holding up bright teeth as the Grinch puts a hook on the bottom of the bed.]