Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny

Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny2006

Genre: Comedy, Musical
Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny is a 2006 fantasy-rock film starring Jack Black and Kyle Gass, both of whom form the rock band Tenacious D. This film concerns their initial meeting in Los Angeles where they form the "greatest rockband of all tim… more »



[The Mic Host sighs, picks up the Pick of Destiny. His eyes gleam with delight as he looks eerily round before revealing his true form as Satan.]

Jables:
Dude, I figured out, we can still use the Pick - I use it in one hand and you can use it in the other, its still compatible - Whaaa? Where is that Pick?

[both look up and see a gigantic fiery Satan resplendent in his evil glory]

Jables and KG:
[jumping in fear] Ah!

[Satan reattaches the Pick and returns to full power]

Satan:
[singing]] I am complete! Yes you are f***ed, sh*t out of luck, now I'm complete and my cock you will suck! This world will be mine, and you're first in line, you bought me the Pick and now you shall both die!

[luckily, JB jumps in]

JB:
Waaait! Waaait! Waaaait you motherf***er! We challenge you, to play a rock-off challenge! [Satan sighs] Yeah, that's one chance you have to rock your socks off...

[silence]

Satan:
F***! F***! F***! The Demon Code prevents me, from declining a rock-off challenge, quick, name your terms, what's the caaa-aatch?

Jables:
If we win, you must take, your sorry ass back to Hell. And you will have to pay our reee-eee-eent.

Satan:
And if I win?

Jables:
[not thinking straight] Then you can take Kage back to Hell.

Kage:
What?

Jables:
Trust me Kage, its the only way.

Kage:
But what are you talking about?

Jables:
To be your love b*tch!

Satan:
Fine! Fine! Let the rock off, begin! Mwahahahaha! [hardcore rock] I'm the Devil I love metal! Check this lick its f***ing tasty, mwahaha! I'm the Devil I can do what I want, I can rock my ass in this flaunt, there's never been a rock off I've ever lost! I can't wait to take Kage back to Hell, I'm going to lick him with my hot demon gel, I'm going to squeal him like my scarlett pimpernel!

[Satan shows torture and sex instruments causing JB to yell no!]

JB:
NO! Ok Kage, let's fight his music, with our music.

Kage:
There's just no way we can win, that was a masterpiece.

JB:
Listen to me!

Kage:
He rocks so hard because he is not a mortal man!

JB:
Goddamnit Kage! He's going to make you his sex slave! You're gonna gurgle mayonnaise!

Kage:
Ohhh!

JB:
Unless we bust this massive mammojam!

Kage:
But JB, we've been through so much sh*t.

JB:
Deactivating lasers with my dick. Now it's time to blow this f***er down. Come on Kage, now it's time to blow doors down!

Kage:
I hear you Jables now its time to blow doors down!

JB:
Line up the stage cos its time for the showdown, but then we get to take this around town! Now we get to blow this f***er down! Come on Kage he's gonna get you if you don't blow this f***er down! We know your secret, your rock is faulty! Your rock can't hurt us or blow our minds, we're gonna defeat you, for all mankind, you hold the Sceptre, you hold the Key, you are the Devil, we are the D! We are the D we are the D we are the D we are the D we are the D we are the D we are the D!

[music ends]

Satan:
You guys are f***ing lame! Come on Kage you're coming with me!!

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