Transformers2007

[The Autobots meet Sam and Mikaela in an alley]

Optimus Prime:
Are you Samuel James Witwicky, descendant of Archibald Witwicky?

Mikaela Banes:
[stunned] They know your name!

Sam Witwicky:
Yeah.

Optimus:
My name is Optimus Prime. We are Autonomous Robotic Organisms from the planet Cybertron.

Ratchet:
But you can call us "Autobots" for short.

Sam:
Autobots.

Jazz:
What's crackin', lil' b*tches? [does a somersault]

Optimus:
My first lieutenant. Designation: Jazz.

Jazz:
This looks like a cool place to kick it! [jumps onto a car behind him as if it were a chair]

Sam:
What is that? How did he learn to talk like that?

Optimus:
We've learned Earth's languages through the World Wide Web (a system of interlinked hypertext documents accessed via the Internet). [points to Ironhide] My weapons specialist, Ironhide.

Ironhide:
[brandishing his weapons] You feeling lucky, punk?

Optimus:
Easy, Ironhide.

Ironhide:
Just kidding, I just wanted to show him my cannons.

Optimus:
Our medical officer, Ratchet.

Ratchet:
[sniffing] The boy's pheromone levels suggest he wants to mate with the female.

[Mikaela scratches her head in embarrassment - Sam whistles]

Optimus:
You already know your guardian, Bumblebee.

Bumblebee:
[assumes fighting stance] Check to the rep/Yep, second to none

Sam:
Bumblebee, right? You're my guardian, huh? [Bumblebee nods]

Ratchet:
His vocal processors were damaged in battle. I'm still working on them.

Mikaela:
Why are you here?

Optimus:
We are here looking for the AllSpark, and we must find it before Megatron.

Sam:
Mega-what?

Optimus:
[produces a hologram of Cybertron for Sam and Mikaela to see] Our planet was once a powerful empire, peaceful and just, until we were betrayed by Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. All who defied them were destroyed. Our war finally consumed the planet, and the AllSpark was lost to the stars. Megatron followed it to Earth, where Captain Witwicky found him.

Sam:
My grandfather...?

Optimus:
It was an accident that intertwined our fates. [flashes back to Archibald's discovery of Megatron in the ice] Megatron crash-landed before he could retrieve the Cube. He accidentally activated his navigation system. The coordinates to the Cube's location on Earth were inprinted on his glasses.

Sam:
How did you know about his glasses?

Optimus:
eBay.

Sam:
eBay...

Ratchet:
If the Decepticons find the AllSpark, they'll use its power to transform Earth's machines, and build a new army.

Optimus:
And the human race will be extinguished. Sam Witwicky, you hold the key to Earth's survival.

Mikaela:
[to Sam] Please tell me you have those glasses.