The Road to El Dorado2000

Tzekel-Kan:
My lords? Hello?

Chel:
The High Priest! What's he gonna think if he finds one of the Gods like this with me?

Tulio:
Uh, "Lucky God"?

Chel:
Just-- just-- just... [frustratedly fixes Tulio's hair]

Tzekel-Kan:
Hello?

[Chel kicks Tulio toward Tzekel-Kan]

Tulio:
WHOA! Oh, Tzekel-Kan! What brings you here?

Tzekel-Kan:
I humbly request to have an audience with you, my lord.

Tulio:
Lord, yes. What can I do for you?

Tzekel-Kan:
My lord, I have just seen Lord Miguel out among the people.

Tulio:
Really?!

Tzekel-Kan:
If I may be so bold as to offer some advice?

[Chel signals Tulio to cut Tzekel-Kan off]

Tulio:
[misreads Chel's signal] Alright, shoot.

Chel:
[facepalms and groans in frustration]

Tzekel-Kan:
My lord, you are perfect.

Tulio:
Oh. Well, go on.

Tzekel-Kan:
But in your perfection, you cannot know how imperfect humans are. [begins to conjure menacing images] Like snakes, they are spineless and slippery. They are as untrustworthy as rats, stealing and cheating, with no remorse [takes a bite out of a conjured pear then spits it out]. Spinning webs of lies, like SPIDERS! [crushes a conjured spider in his hand]

Tulio:
[nauseated] Stop it! That's disgusting!

Tzekel-Kan:
[makes the conjured images vanish] They're beyond disgusting!

Tulio:
Yeah, yeah! Way beyond!

Tzekel-Kan:
Then we're in agreement, I shall think the proper preparations. Now, do you wish to have your victims bound to altar, or would you prefer them free range? And will you devour their essence whole, or piece-by-piece?

Tulio:
[pause] Tzek, you lost me.

Tzekel-Kan:
My Lord, these people will not respect if they do not fear you.

Tulio:
And, of course, we will make them fear us, by, uh...

Tzekel-Kan:
By sacrifice! As it is prophesied, the history of the Age of the Jaguar will be written in...

Tulio:
Ink?

Tzekel-Kan:
Blood!

Tulio:
Blood! Oh! Oh, yes. This is very important stuff. I should tell Lord Miguel about this blood issue right away. [to Chel] Come on, honey. Let's go.

Tzekel-Kan:
[Relieved] Finally, we're connecting.