She's Out of My League2010

[First lines]

Kirk:
Marnie, I know that we agreed to take some time off and I think that was a great idea. My God. Gave us both a chance to experiment, if you will, and meet all sorts of new and interesting, different people. You did quite a bit more experimenting than I did. A lot more experimenting. You are like a scientist. Beakers... But obviously I'm cool with that, because the thing is, I think, we're stronger as a result. But here's the thing, Marnie... it's been two years. That's a lot of time off. And I'm ready for some time on. I miss you. I miss us. I got something for you. [pulls out earring box; to his friends] What do you think?

Stainer:
Aww, man. It's depressing. I mean, it's really depressing. It's horrible to watch you like this.

Devon:
I think it's really pretty. How's it work? [opens box] Oh...

Jack:
What the hell is that?

Kirk:
I got it for Valentine's Day, right before she broke up with me. Stainer, I know you don't like her very much.

Stainer:
No, no. I hate her. In fact, the day that you broke up with her, I marked that down in my calender as a day of rejoicement. I'm going to celebrate it with a cake with her face on it, but instead of eating it, we smash it. Okay? You can do a lot better. You deserve a lot better, Kirky.

Kirk:
I thank you, but I've seen what's out there and I don't think it gets any better.

Jack:
When have you been out there? When have you left the apartment?

Kirk:
I went out on four different dates, with three girls and that guy. I don't know what his intentions were, but it's fine. We had a great conversation. I think he was just looking for a friend.

Jack:
Do you know what your problem is, Kirk?

Kirk:
What?

Jack:
You're a moodle.

Kirk:
A moodle?

Jack:
A man poodle. Girls, they want to take you out on a walk. They want to feed you, they want to cuddle you, but make no mistake, no girl wants to do the moodle.

Stainer:
No one would ever f*** a moodle.

Jack:
No, he's right. I'm telling you, if you want to get Marnie back, she has got to believe that from the second she broke up with you, your life has been a non-stop snatch parade.

Devon:
Or... you could just be who you are. Why can't that be good enough?

Stainer:
[holding earring box] Why don't you just put your f***ing balls in here?