Absolutely Fabulous1992

[first lines]

Eddie:
Come on, wake up! Come on! Come on, Bubble, try and concentrate! I've got some important information I have to tell you. I am going to be in France for nearly a whole week and I am counting on you to cope. Now, there is only one thing that you have to concentrate on this week, and that's the refurbishment of Bettina's apartment.

Bubble:
The refurbishment of Bettina's apartment.

Eddie:
It's very important, I promised it would be finished this week. When she said "Third world chic", I was hoping she would stick to it, but it took me hours to get hold of that fly-blown mud Hessian for her kitchen walls. I mean there is a nomadic tribe in the Northern African desert that's going to be traveling rather light this winter, thanks to Bettina. Also, when the wood arrives for the kitchen surfaces, remember to stamp "Greenpeace approved" on it.

Bubble:
"Greenpeace approved".

Eddie:
Alright? Yes, and if the silk for the cushions doesn't arrive by tomorrow, then fax Calcutta and tell them to weave faster. God, what can they be doing? Squatting inside the room, making chapattis? Poor Bettina. Bonjour, bonjour. Oui, oui! Also, darling, I'll try to phone you from my mobile, but I'm not sure that it'll work from France.

Bubble:
Even if it does, I'm not sure I'd understand what you were saying.

Eddie:
Oh, darling...

Bubble:
You do speak French, don't you?

Eddie:
Of course I speak French. Someone has been stealing from me.