Absolutely Fabulous1992

Eddie:
I demand to see a doctor!

Nurse:
Mr. Simpson will be round in a minute.

Eddie:
Mr. Simpson? Mr. Simpson? I want a proper doctor in a white coat who's going to take me seriously. And give me some more painkillers now, all right.

Mr. Simpson:
Right, Mrs. um, um...

Nurse:
Monsoon.

Mr. Simpson:
I'll be operating on your um, um, um...

Nurse:
Foot.

Mr. Simpson:
...tomorrow morning.

Eddie:
Hold my hand, darling. He could be the caretaker for all I know!

Mr. Simpson:
We could do this under local. It's not a very serious operation. It's very quick.

Eddie:
Local? Local anaesthetic? Are you mad? God, what is this? Eastern Europe?

Mr. Simpson:
You wouldn't feel any pain.

Eddie:
I won't need to feel it, but I'd be able to see it! I'm not totally lacking in imagination you know. I want total sensory deprivation and back-up drugs, all right!

Saffie:
Believe me, she's much happier unconscious!