Absolutely Fabulous1992

Edina:
I know it's a sensitive issue with someone your age, darling. And a bit embarassed to talk about it, aren't you, sweetie? Mm? My analyst says that I should let you sort it out in your own time, and everything. But Jesus Christ, darling! Not one bloody boyfriend in the whole time that I've known you! I mean, you're not that bloody ugly! What's the matter with you? Huh? Have you read that "Karma Sutra" I gave you? No! That Dutch cap has only ever seen the light of day. I mean, God! Here I am, your mother, poised for your first sexual experience and night after night, dry bloody sheets! I'm sorry, darling, but I don't want a little moustached virgin for a daughter, so do something about it! Unless of course...

Saffron:
Mum, don't!

Edina:
Well, darling...

Saffron:
Mum, please!

Edina:
Unless of course... Unless of course you're gay, darling.

Saffron:
Mum!

Edina:
Sweetie! Are you darling? You can tell me, sweetie. Are you darling?

Saffron:
Yes, I'm gay.

Edina:
Oh, hoorah! [pause] Well done, darling, well done!

Saffron:
I'm glad it makes you happy, but actually, I'm not.

Edina:
What?

Saffron:
I'm not gay! [Edina looks disappointed] Sorry.

Edina:
Oh! Break it to me like that, why don't you? Yes... I suppose it's not your fault, really, is it? Just your old mother clutching at straws. Trying to find one exotic, interesting feature about you, but there we are.