American Dad!2005

[Stan has gone to God to get a second chance]

God:
I'll just cut to the chase, I'm not going to help you.

Stan Smith:
What? Then just help my family. You can't let them die.

God:
Look, everything happens for a reason.

Stan Smith:
What reason could there be?

God:
Stan, I'm gonna level with you. If your family is allowed to live, Stanford's tennis team will go 0 and 8 in conference play.

Stan Smith:
What?

God:
[laughs] I'm just messing with you, the point is mysterious ways, have a little faith, I'm in the details. Now c'mon, you can be triceratops. I know he's your favorite.

[Stan draws a "Heaven Gun", which can kill anything]

Stan Smith:
We're out of time. Now, send me back so I can save my family!

God:
Not gonna happen.

Stan Smith:
You have to!

God:
Okay, so you know better than me, is that it? You're all-knowing?

Stan Smith:
No. Yes. I don't know.

God:
Exactly! You don't know, so stop trying to control everything.

Stan Smith:
I don't do that!

God:
Stan, you're holding a gun to God's head. I mean, I can't even think of a metaphor that's better than this. And I'm a published poet. Now, come on. Put it down.