Black Books2000

[after Manny has swallowed "The Little Book Of Calm"]

Doctor:
Well, it's bad news I'm afraid, Mr. Bianco. 'The Little Book of Calm' has become lodged between the small intestine and the pancreas. If it rotates a centimetre or two to the left, you'll be dead in seconds.

Manny:
Oh my God!

Doctor:
No no, hold on a moment, that's just the worst case scenario. The other possibility - and this is far more likely - is that 'The Little Book of Calm' will move to the right, where it will enter the renal canal. If this happens, you could live for anything up to, ooh, ten years, one year, who knows?

Manny:
Oh my God!

Doctor:
Because of the massive scarring caused by 'The Little Book of Calm', however, it is possible that you will be in a massive amount of pain...

Manny:
[interrupting] Oh my God! Oh, sorry.

Doctor:
...during that time.

Manny:
Oh my God!

[the Doctor's beeper goes]

Doctor:
Sorry, I'm going to have to go. We'll operate tomorrow, see if there's anything we can do about it. There's a good chance you'll survive - a thirty percent chance, I'd say - so try not to worry about it. As the book itself says,

[holding the X-Ray up to the light]

Doctor:
'whenever you're in a tight spot, try to imagine yourself marooned on a beautiful desert island'.