Black-ish2014

Andre Johnson, Jr.:
[describing when he was spanked] It was the Thursday of a leap year. The air was crisp, the sky was blue, and the belt was black!

Jack Johnson:
I don't want to hear any more!

Andre Johnson, Jr.:
Not even about the color of my tears? They were red!

Jack Johnson:
Aaaah!

Zoey Johnson:
Okay. Don't be mean. He's scared.

Andre Johnson, Jr.:
He should be. It's terrifying. I mean, not for me. I'm too old to be spanked. I've aged out.

Pops:
Where'd you hear that, Junior?

Andre Johnson, Jr.:
Well, I mean, I'm 13 now. That means I'm out of the whupping window.

Pops:
Yeah, but you still have an ass, don't you? That means you're still in the window.

Diane Johnson:
My research shows we have legal options: emancipation, extrication, and if all else fails, relocation.

Pops:
Damn, Diane, I wish I had you when I divorced Grandma. Might've held on to my Lincoln.

Andre Johnson, Jr.:
You're just messing with me, right? I mean, nobody's going to spank a ninth-grader, right?

Pops:
What's age got to do with it? I spanked your daddy when he came home for the summer from college. He was all "Oh, I'm in college now! Listen to how smart my mouth is!" I was like POP!

Zoey Johnson:
Okay, come on, Pops! We all know no one spanks anymore.

Pops:
Oh, well look who's sitting there all cocky thinking she's safe 'cause she's a girl. Whupping don't care what you are. An ass is an ass is an ass is an ass. POP!