Boston Legal2004

Alan Shore:
[to Tara] Hello, I'm a complete stranger and I'm here to pick you up. [notices Joe] Oh, I see, there's two of us. I'll be evens, you be odds.

Joe:
You got a problem?

Alan Shore:
No, actually. I just saw this fair maiden here talking to a tree trunk, and since I'm an arborist I thought I could help translate.

Joe:
Here's a health tip. Walk away.

Alan Shore:
Why would I do that?

Tara Wilson:
All right, guys.

Alan Shore:
Don't be deceived by my cushy appearance.

Tara Wilson:
Excuse me. I actually am with him.

Joe:
I don't care. Walk away, or I lay you out.

Alan Shore:
I don't mean to be a stickler, but isn't the object to lay her out? [Joe punches Alan]

Tara Wilson:
Hey!

Joe:
Oh, gee, I'm sorry, I was reaching for my wallet...

Alan Shore:
I see. Allow me to reach for mine. [walks away to the other end of the bar]

Tara Wilson:
Are you all right?

Alan Shore:
Fine. [to Mike and friends] Hello, big people. Sorry to intrude, but you seem rather strapping. Here's three hundred dollars. Would you be so kind as to go hit that man down there?

Mike:
[laughs incredulously] Really?

Tara Wilson:
Alan!

Alan Shore:
There's an extra hundred if he goes down.

Mike:
You're on.

Alan Shore:
Make it a good one.

Tara Wilson:
Oh, for God's sakes.

Alan Shore:
[Mike hits Joe; fistfight ensues. Alan gives money to Mike's friend] Here's a hundred; go help your friend.

Alan Shore:
[watches the fighting] Gee, seems Joe has buddies. [passing out money to Mike's friends] One for you, one for you. I've got plenty of them. Hit him hard, now. For you, and for you...