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Richie:
[making a list for things to take on holiday] Ooh, condoms!

Eddie:
Well, we can take last year's, can't we?

Richie:
But have we got any left?

Eddie:
Yeah. All of 'em!

Richie:
Thank God for that! I hate going to the chemist's! Keep thinking my Mum will find out. I mean, buying johnnies is just a constant embarrassment!

Eddie:
What do you mean, you've only done it once! That was back in 1977!

Richie:
Hey, hey, it's a bloody convincing performance, though! That shop assistant could've sworn I was French!

Eddie:
Yeah, maybe that's why you came out with 50 tubes of pile cream as well!

Richie:
Yes, well, maybe my mime was a little indistinctive, yes, but you know, I mean, it was worth the daytrip to Birmingham just to find a chemist who didn't know us, you know! I mean, it might have been a long way round just to buy a threepack of johnnies we never use, but I'll tell you what: there's been no piles in this house since 1977!