Bottom1991

[Eddie and Richie are watching burning buildings from their window]

Eddie:
You know, that's what I love about this country, Richie. Tradition.

Richie:
Yeah, yeah.

Eddie:
I mean, in the olden days, we used to let the Germans do this sort of thing for us.

Richie:
I know, I know. It's shocking, isn't it? I mean, us Brits are so much better at it, aren't we? I mean, look at that! Half of London is alight! That's British craftmanship, that is!

[There is music playing from the streets]

Eddie:
Aw, look! There's the primary school Postman Pat float.

Richie:
[Adored] Aha.

Eddie:
[Adored] They make a little van and everything!

Richie:
Aha! Oh, look, look, they're ram-rading the off-licence! [Sound of braking glass] Aw! Bless 'em. they're too young to know, aren't they?

Eddie:
What?

Richie:
Well, that you've done it already.

Eddie:
Yep! Well, you have to get up early in the morning to beat uncle Eddie [looks at a stack of boxes filled with Malibu] .

Richie:
Well, it's as I always say, Eddie. The carnival is a marvellous business opportunity.

Eddie:
Would you like me to toast your marshmellows?

[Richie looks at him in disgust]

[Eddie holds up two marshmellows]

Richie:
Oh, I see what you mean. Yes, marvellous, Eddie, get on with it, yes, yes, yes. Right, now, I think we should just wait for the window of Curry's to blow, and then we'll pop out and do ourselves a bit of shopping. There's a 28-inch surround sound TV with Fasttext, FST, Nicam and loads of other bullocks that nobody understands, that I have me eye on for a couple of months now.

Eddie:
[Pulls back two black marshmellows from the fire] Bit overdone.

Richie:
Right. Shopping list, shopping list. I'll go grab hold of my ballpoint. [Both laughing]

Eddie:
[Glass breaks] Oh no, Richie! No time for crap double entendres. Curry's window's just blown. They've just thrown Aswad through it!

Richie:
Have they? Right. Banzai, baby! Bankrobbers on and let's go shopping!