Brows Held High2011

[first lines]

[Oancitizen is reading a book, then puts it down]

Oancitizen:
Shakespeare wrote Shakespeare. William Shakespeare wrote the plays attributed to William Shakespeare. William Shakespeare wrote thirty-seven plays including, but not limited to, Hamlet, Othello, King Lear, Macbeth, Romeo & Juliet, and, like, fifteen plays about guys named Henry. On a related note, vaccines do not cause autism, al-Qaeda did cause 9/11, Americans walked on the moon, and the Queen of England is not a lizard person.