CSI: Crime Scene Investigation2000

Frank Rosetti:
You want to see a crime scene? I'll show you a crime scene. C'mere, c'mere, look at this, huh? [shows a smashed wedding cake] What this woman had against the color peach, I've never seen anything like it. "If you think you're serving that flesh-colored abomination and I'm paying for it, you can think again!" Boom! I'm a 42-year-old paisan; she scared me. I wouldn't be surprised if her pantyhose rebelled against her, tied themselves to the car, the dame was a pill. I swear to God, she may have taken two or three years off my own life. Weddings are a blood, sweat and tears marathon, my friend. I'm on a tight schedule. 12 noon: I got first intro of the couple. 12:30: salad course. 12:45: first dance. 1 o'clock: chair dance, chicken dance, broom dance - I don't care, I'm equal-opportunity. 1:30: main course. 2:15: first toast, groom's side. If the best man shuts his mouth, at 2:16 we have the first toast of the bride's side. 3 o'clock: we cut the cake. 3:30: bouquet toss.

Gil Grissom:
That's a tight schedule. She would have barely had time to go to the bathroom.

Frank Rosetti:
I don't sell bridal diapers for nothing.

Greg Sanders:
He was kidding about the diapers, right?