Columbo1971

Dr. Steadman:
Well, perhaps the lieutenant would like to see a menu?

Columbo:
Ah, that won't be necessary, sir. [as Maitre D' walks away with back turned,] I'll just have a BLT on white toast and cream soda.

Maitre D':
[Maitre D' abruptly turns around, and while filling out menu, says] One embarcadero garni.

Columbo:
Thank you very much. [Looking at Dr. Steadman's plate] What are they, snails?

Dr. Steadman:
Escargo dipped in garlic butter. Flavor is fantastic.

Columbo:
Oh garlic, that's what I smell. What's it for? [pause] To kill the taste of the snails?

Maitre D':
[Returning with plate 5 minutes later] Your embarcadero, sir. Garni.

Columbo:
Ah, excuse me, I just ordered a B.L.T., what's all this?

Maitre D':
That's garni, sir.

Columbo:
Oh. Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not feeling too hungry. Maybe you could put this in a doggie bag and I'll eat it on the plane?

Maitre D':
[With expression of disdain] Of course, sir.

Columbo:
Thank you. Ah, just the sandwich. The garni... you can keep the garni.