Count Duckula1988

Von Goosewing:
Okay Igor, you were saying?

Von Goosewing:
I was saying, Dr. Von Goosewing, that the master has gone mad. He's cast me out into the cold, cold snow and taken on a younger butler. And that's not all.

Von Goosewing:
It's not?

Igor:
No. For some reason best known to himself, he has disguised himself as the penguin butler.

Von Goosewing:
Ja?

Igor:
Ja. I mean, yes. And he has disguised the butler as himself.

Von Goosewing:
But-but-but wait a moment, the butler *is* himself.

Igor:
No! The butler is now my master because my master is disguised as someone else. Because he is not himself.

Von Goosewing:
Heinrich, bring me a headache pill.

Igor:
Dr. Von Goosewing, it is perfectly simple! One penguin is now Count Duckula while the other penguins are penguins, except for the one who's a duck!

Von Goosewing:
Make that a dozen headache pills, Heinrich! Are you trying to tell me that there is more then one penguin?

Igor:
Oh, yes there is certainly more than one penguin, Dr. Von Goosewing.

Von Goosewing:
How many more? Tell me.

Igor:
Nine. [sounds like "nein", no in German]

Von Goosewing:
If what you say is important, tell me how many more.

Igor:
Nine.

Von Goosewing:
Rumplestiltskin! Tell me!

Igor:
Nine, nine, nine!

Von Goosewing:
Ja, ja, ja! Tell me, tell me, TELL ME!

Igor:
I have told you how many.

Von Goosewing:
Heinrich, just bring the bottle.

Igor:
Dr. Von Goosewing, are you quite yourself?

Von Goosewing:
Well, I was when I left home. I just hope I'm not turning into a penguin!

Igor:
Make that *two* bottles, Heinrich, and be quick! Look, all you have to remember, Goosewing, is to miss the duck and zap the penguin.