Criminal Minds2005

David Rossi:
I can't imagine why not. We're only asking for fifty thousand bucks of taxpayer money so that FBI agents can play Texas Hold 'Em.

Emily Prentiss:
Hey, what about you?

David Rossi:
What about me what?

Emily Prentiss:
You could stake us the buy-in.

Dr. Spencer Reid:
Yeah, you're a best-selling author.

David Rossi:
No!

Emily Prentiss:
Why not?

David Rossi:
One, it's against regulations, and I'd like to hold onto this job for a little while longer.

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau:
It's a minor administrative violation.

David Rossi:
And two, I prefer to spend my money on actual things, like single-malt Scotch, a fine cigar, beautiful artwork.

Emily Prentiss:
Poker chips are things.

Dr. Spencer Reid:
Maybe just think of it as, like, a new experience. I mean, at your age, how often does that happen?

David Rossi:
At my *what*?

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau:
Rossi, this may be our only chance to get this guy.

David Rossi:
All right, fine. I'm a decent poker player, but I can't promise that I can stay in the game long enough to...

Emily Prentiss:
You know what? I bet you're a great poker player, but what if we sent in Reid?

Dr. Spencer Reid:
I am banned from casinos in Las Vegas, Laughlin, and Pahrump because of my card-counting ability.

David Rossi:
Look, I know I'm not a genius like the boy wonder here, but poker is not blackjack. It's about bluffing, reading human nature, head games. It's not math.

Dr. Spencer Reid:
That's not entirely accurate. There actually is a mathematical equation for knowing when to raise and when to fold. If "P" represents the size of the pot at the time of play, than P x N - 1, with "N" representing the estimated number of players at the final round of betting...

David Rossi:
Okay, fine. I surrender. Just try not to lose all of my money?