Daria1997

Jodie Abigail Landon:
Hey, you guys wanna buy tickets for the faculty-DJ roller hockey game?

Daria:
Are you kidding?

Jane Lane:
We'll take two.

Daria:
What? You're gonna pay to watch teachers skate around with DJs? Classic rock DJs?

Jodie Abigail Landon:
You weren't here last year, Daria.

Mr. Anthony DeMartino:
[flashback: Mr. DeMartino pushes puck along the floor, and is body-checked by Rock & Roll Randy] Argh! [clutches chest and collapses to floor]

Randy:
Rock and roll, foreva!

Mr. Anthony DeMartino:
Help... me... ! [Flashback ends]

Jodie Abigail Landon:
Mr. DeMartino had to have an emergency angioplasty. He almost died.

Jane Lane:
But a voice told him that his work here on Earth wasn't finished. Some of the students weren't wetting the bed yet. This year, he's more determined than ever to snatch victory from the jaws of death.

Mr. Anthony DeMartino:
[Cut to Mr. DeMartino on exercise equipment, suspended upside-down by his feet and doing sit-ups] Three hundred ninety-eight... three hundred ninety-nine... fooouuur hundred! Ahh... Rock & Roll Randy, this year you're mine. [cut ends]

Daria:
What are you saying?

Jodie Abigail Landon:
You know how there are people who go to car races on the chance that they might see a crash?

Daria:
I'm in.