Daria1997

Helen:
Are you girls ready for your day in court?

Quinn:
Can't you just punish us? I'd like to pay my check to society and get on with my life.

Helen:
Your father and I want you to have a fair hearing. Then we'll punish you.

Daria:
But a court procedure? Isn't that a little bureaucratic?

Helen:
Bureaucracy is the price we pay for impartiality.

Jake:
Jefferson!

Helen:
Stalin. It's all about fairness, girls. That's why your father will make a terrific judge.

Jake:
I get to be the judge? [Jake pushes a large armchair in front of the TV]

Daria:
Look, someone once said, "The most important thing in life is not to look like a geek." Do you have any idea how geeky all of this is?

Jake:
That's it, Daria. All I can say is that I hope you have a darn good defense lawyer.

Daria:
A lawyer? Mom?

Helen:
Sorry, honey, I'm prosecuting. And if I do say so myself, you're going down.