Death Battle2010

Boomstick:
Donkey Kong weighs 800 pounds and stands about eight feet tall. That's almost twice as big as a normal gorilla. He spends his afternoons as if he were a Florida native, by finding ways to kill crocodiles, such as crushing 'em with his sheer weight, chucking barrels at 'em like his old man, or just straight up punching 'em to death.

Wizard:
The strength this ape wields is so tremendous, his very palms can shake the earth. And his trademark Giant Punch can send his victims flying beyond the horizon.

Boomstick:
But just because he's strong, doesn't mean he's slow. He can unleash a flurry of blows so fast, he ignites the hydrogen in the air, creating explosions!

Wizard:
This is similar to a meteor catching fire while falling through the atmosphere... at 25,000 miles per hour.

Boomstick:
I'm telling you, Wiz, it's only a matter of time before the apes take over.