Death Battle2010

Boomstick:
Well, weird abilities aside, Superman can freeze his enemies in ice or create hurricanes just by breathing, and to top it all off, he shoots laser beams from his eyes.

Wizard:
His heat vision can be expanded to encompass anything within Superman's sight and reach temperatures hotter than the sun.

Boomstick:
He can incinerate entire planets in a staring contest.

Wizard:
However, heat vision drains his power faster than any other ability, especially when he amps it up. And with precision, heat vision can reach microscopic levels invisible to the human eye. Superman can vibrate his body fast enough to phase through attacks, even turn invisible. By vibrating to just under light speed, Superman can use the infinite mass punch. This speed causes the relative mass of his fist to increase immensely and hit with the force of a supernova.

Boomstick:
Which explodes at a force of 10 octillion megatons! Thanks fact-of-the-day calendar.

Wizard:
In comparison, this is the Tsar, the most powerful bomb mankind has ever tested: 50 megatons.

Boomstick:
So that punch is like 200 septillion super-nukes. That's 24 zeroes, b*tches!

Wizard:
Superman is not only strong, but a genius with a super-brain that can process information thousands of times faster than an average human. He is capable of strategic fighting, even while traveling eight times the speed of light.

Boomstick:
He's an expert at disabling opponents through pressure point combat and once fought demons in Valhalla alongside Wonder Woman and Thor... for 1,000 freaking years!

Wizard:
He's even learned to protect his mind from telepathic attacks. He also studied two Kryptonian martial arts: Torquasm-Rao and Torquasm-Vo.

Boomstick:
Orgasm-what now?

Wizard:
Torquasm-Rao is a hard martial art in which Superman enters the theta state, a real-life phenomenon in which a person becomes extremely receptive to information and instinct. Torquasm-Vo is a mental martial art with which Superman can fight off mind domination and illusions or even counterattack.

Boomstick:
In order to master all his powers, Superman needed to break through his own self-created mental blocks, like how when he was younger, he believed he needed to eat food and breathe oxygen like humans, when he can really just survive on solar energy alone like some weird plant man.

Wizard:
And thanks to some intense training by Mongol II, he managed to tear these barriers down and become the true Superman, capable of amazing feats.

Boomstick:
Yeah, like when he obliterated an F5 tornado with a round of applause. Or when he was the filling for a planet sandwich, or held a mini black hole in his hand. Or the time he dragged the freaking Earth around! Superman has survived some pretty crazy things. Like when Koldgast hit him with 15 supernovas to the face!

Wizard:
Exaggeration? Maybe, but he has survived other supernovas before. When he takes a hit, his super-dense molecular structure and bio-electric aura protect him and his suit.

Boomstick:
Holy crap, he sounds invincible!

Wizard:
Not exactly. His solar energy can be depleted over the course of a battle, if he takes too much damage or remains out of sunlight for too long. This is how the monster Doomsday was able to kill him. Oh, sorry, not kill, put him into a "healing coma".

Boomstick:
[coughs] Cop-out!

Wizard:
He also has several specific weaknesses, like the famous Kryptonite, radioactive fragments of his homeworld which bring him to his knees. Any prolonged exposure will eventually kill him. He also has no special resistance to magical attacks.

Boomstick:
And he always gets all hung up on doing the right thing, even if it makes his life miserable.

Wizard:
He does not fight for himself, but to protect others. Even the buildings in Metropolis are more valuable to him than his own life... most of the time. The point is, Superman spends more time defending the city than actually improving his own abilities.

Boomstick:
But remove all those pesky feelings about saving people and look out!