Death Battle2010

Wizard:
Left on the doorstep of a London mansion, the infant Isabella was adopted and raised by the noble house of Valentine.

Boomstick:
Little did they know she'd grow up to be this deadly dominatrix. Oh, daddy must be so proud.

Wizard:
Well, he's dead, so there's that. Both her father and mother died while searching for the legendary Soul Edge, leaving Isabella, or Ivy, as their sole legacy. Her only remaining parent is her birth father, the pirate Cervantes, who is a zombie... sometimes.

Boomstick:
Well, then, good call on the baby dumpster donation. Zombie pirates don't make good fathers. Believe me, I know.

Wizard:
What?