Death Battle2010

Wizard:
Over a thousand years ago, an epic war waged throughout the universe. The legendary Star Warriors battled against the vile Nightmare for the freedom of everything that ever was. Ultimately, good prevailed, but at the cost of many, many lives. Yet one infant Star Warrior escaped the carnage, destined to awaken a millennium later and save the galaxy. His name... is Kirby. [record scratches]

Kirby:
Hi-i-i-i!

Boomstick:
Wait, what? The cute cuddly pink puffball who lives in Happyland? Are you sure you're reading the right back story?

Wizard:
Yes! He crash landed on Popstar, the most confusingly-shaped planet ever, and has been defending the kingdom of Dream Land ever since.

Boomstick:
But look at him! He's just so adorable and cuddly. He couldn't hurt a fly.

Wizard:
Kirby is a ravenous cannibal who thrives on the blood of mass murder.

Boomstick:
Holy sh*t!