Death Battle2010

Wizard:
Born the very same day Dr. Eggman began his robot powered takeover of the world, Miles Prower...

Boomstick:
[interrupting, laughing] I get it! Miles Per Hour! Creativity like that is why Sega is still making consoles.

Wizard:
[clears throat] Miles was awkwardly born with two tails. Mere minutes after being welcomed into the world, Eggman's deadly forces made Miles Prower an orphan.

Boomstick:
Whoa, that's... that's pretty f***ed up.

Wizard:
Eight years later, and after some much needed counseling, Miles stumbled upon a broken-down biplane and happily repaired the whole vehicle on his own.

Boomstick:
Well, of course. Just like all walking, talking, adolescent, two-tailed foxes can. Anyway, as it turns out, that plane happened to belong to Miles' personal idol, Sonic the Hedgehog. Why Sonic needed a plane in the first place is beyond me, but whatever.

Wizard:
It was Sonic who first suggested that Miles' birth defects could be used to fly by spinning them like helicopter blades, which is obviously impossible because it could never create lift and...

[as he says this, he sees footage of Miles flying using his two tails]

Wizard:
WHAT?

Boomstick:
And so, Sonic gave his rotary ass the oh-so-obvious nickname he deserved: Tails.

Wizard:
Well, that's stupid. That's like if you were nicknamed "Boomstick" because you just like shotguns.

Boomstick:
Don't be f***ing ridiculous, Wizard.