Death Battle2010

Wizard:
[about Zechs] He could not handle the politics of war. After Treize staged a coup which spiraled out of control, Zechs stumbled through the ensuing chaos like a lost pup, always ending up fighting for the wrong cause by complete accident. Whoops.

Zechs:
I don't understand! Why am I still so spineless?

Boomstick:
[mimicking Zechs] Oh, I have an awesome giant Gundam that everyone needs to do awesome stuff. Poor me.

Wizard:
But, PLOT TWIST: Zechs has been hiding a secret identity. He is, in fact, Milliardo Peacecraft, the long-lost heir to the throne of the pacifist Saint Kingdom. Yes, the Peacecrafts literally craft peace.

Boomstick:
At first the only one who knew Zech's true identity was his slap-happy admirer, Noin. You'd think a cheerful girlfriend who doesn't have blood on her hands would help Zechs lighten up a bit. But...

Zechs:
Don't go getting too attached or parting'll hurt.

Noin:
But my soldiers aren't ever going to be killed in battle. [exactly one minute and ten seconds later, explosions destroy the complex and Noin's men]

Boomstick:
Damn. He won't be hitting that for a while.