Desperate Housewives2004

Karl Mayer:
You called me down here for this? It's a kid playing with a soccer ball.

Susan Mayer:
It's a head and he's stabbing someone with a sword.

Karl Mayer:
Well maybe it was in self defence!

Principal Hobson:
Mr Mayer, generally when kids exhibit this type of behaviour, there's a problem [phone rings] excuse me. [looks at phone] I have to take this, sorry. [walks out of the room talking on the phone]

Karl Mayer:
Thanks for ratting out my kid on his first day!

Susan Mayer:
It's not my fault. I showed this to the school pyschologist, she gave it to the Principal. My hands are tied!

Karl Mayer:
So right away it's Evan's fault? Did you ever consider that he didn't understand the assignment?

Susan Mayer:
I told the class to draw what made them happy! All the other kids drew kittens and rainbows! Your son drew small intestines on the end of a stick!

Karl Mayer:
Let's cut to what this is really about. You hate me! And you don't want my son in your class!

Susan Mayer:
That is not true!

Karl Mayer:
It is to! You're still punishing me for what happened between us! you're still stuck in the past blaming me for your screwed up life!

Susan Mayer:
Ok well someone call Guineus because you just set the world record for the biggest load of crap in one sentence!

Karl Mayer:
Oh bite me!

Principal Hobson:
[walks back in the room] How long was I gone? [stares from Karl to Susan]

Susan Mayer:
Uh this is nothing Mr Hobson. We're just having a difference of opinion.

Karl Mayer:
Yeah. And my opinion is your teacher doesn't understand the difference between emotional problems and creativity!

Susan Mayer:
Shut up Karl!

Principal Hobson:
[to Susan] Excuse me. Did you just tell him to 'shut up'?

Karl Mayer:
You know this is typical [gestures with hand] "Susan" behaviour and you wonder why no man can stay with you!

Susan Mayer:
[throws paint in Karl's face as Principal Hobson looks on shocked] [to Principal Hobson] Would this seem any less shocking if I told you we were once married for twelve years?