Desperate Housewives2004

Karen McCluskey:
Here's the big news. Parker offered me a fudgesicle if I would show him my vagina. Oh, good god, Lynette, relax. I didn't do it. I just got this out of the freezer a second ago.

Lynette:
Uh, yeah. Of course, no, sorry.

Karen McCluskey:
Apparently, Parker wanted to put a sunflower seed inside me and see if a baby would grow. Where do kids get this stuff?

Lynette:
Oh, that was me. He was asking about the birds and the bees and I fudged a few of the details. Well, he's only seven years old. I don't think he needs to know everything yet. I don't wanna rob him of his innocence.

Karen McCluskey:
Well, now, that's where you're wrong. You get 'em when they're young. Give 'em all the gory details. And then when they're good and disgusted, you shame 'em.

Lynette:
Excuse me?

Karen McCluskey:
You tell them sex is dirty and wrong and he shouldn't talk about it and if he does, he's going straight to hell.

Lynette:
That is ridiculous.

Karen McCluskey:
Spoken like a true liberal idiot.

Lynette:
No, I am not going to shame my son.

Karen McCluskey:
Mm, I'm telling ya, it works. It keeps people in their place, it keeps parents from being humiliated, and it keeps me from having to spend the afternoon talking about my woo-woo.