Desperate Housewives2004

[George has dinner with the Van De Kamps]

Andrew Van De Kamp:
So, George, can I ask you a question? And it's kind of personal.

George Williams:
Sure.

Andrew Van De Kamp:
Have you ever actually been with a woman?

George Williams:
[chuckling] Excuse me?

Andrew Van De Kamp:
Well, let's be honest. I think it's obvious by the way that you talk and act that you're not a player, so I was just curious to find out if you had ever actually gotten in the game.

George Williams:
My experience with women is none of your business.

Andrew Van De Kamp:
Oh, I think it is. I mean, you're dating my mom. And we both know that at your age, dating's a little more than just holding hands.

George Williams:
We're not dating exactly.

Andrew Van De Kamp:
Oh, sure you are. And you know what? I think it's great. But I wanna make sure my mom's happy, you know, and it would really set my mind at ease to know that she's with a guy that knows how to please a lady.

George Williams:
This is inappropriate.

Andrew Van De Kamp:
You know, my parents had a great sex life. Man, I heard 'em through the wall of my bedroom once.

George Williams:
Please shut up.

Andrew Van De Kamp:
You should've heard my mom, too. She had this... this weird moan. It was kind of like, um...

[Andrew makes a moan that's followed by an unh!]

Andrew Van De Kamp:
Isn't that bizarre? That's the sound my mom makes when she climaxes.

[a dumbfounded George looks at Andrew while Bree and Danielle enter with cobblers]

Bree Van De Kamp:
Okay, time for cobbler. Sorry, one of the dessert plates doesn't match. I tried to replace it, but it's Spode Florence. It's a rare pattern. It belonged to my grandmother. But hopefully once you taste the dessert, you'll forget all about it.

George Williams:
I'm not hungry.

Bree Van De Kamp:
George, you have to have this. It's absolutely scrumptious.

[Bree takes a bite]

Bree Van De Kamp:
Mmm. Mmm!

[George looks from Bree to Andrew, who points to Bree and mouths "That's it." George slams his fist and stands up]

George Williams:
Go to your room!