Diff'rent Strokes1978

Arnold Jackson:
Yeah but guys, you can only fling a tomato so far. What else can we use to bean these bigots?

Dudley Ramsey:
Hey, my mother's got a zucchini that's been in our fridge so long it walked from one shelf to the other.

Arnold Jackson:
Hey that's perfect! Now a zucchini is perfect, you can use it like a dart, it's perfect for distance and accuracy.

Sam McKinney:
But you gotta be careful with zucchinis, if they're too gushy they'll come apart in your hand, and if they're not rotten enough they won't squash when you hit a girl. Then she'll have a chance to throw it back at you.

Arnold Jackson:
Exactly, now Sam if you were going throwing fruit, uh at girls, what would you use?

Sam McKinney:
Well, my friends prefer cantaloupes, seasonal but effective. They maintain their trajectory and when they hit they go PWEW all over the place.