Enterprise2001

Lt. Reed:
I was just beginning to think that Captain Archer was invincible, you know? Just serving on the same starship as him made me feel safe for some reason. He had a knack for getting us out of trouble, didn't he?

Commander Tucker:
Yeah, he's always been that way. When I first taught him to dive, it really got on my nerves. He'd come down to the Keys at least once a month, and whatever it was I was teaching him, he'd get it the first time. Did you ever try clearing your mask?

Lt. Reed:
Clear my mask?

Commander Tucker:
Everybody's got to do it before they get certified. You go down and the instructor fills your mask with water, and you have to clear it by blowing out through your nose. Nobody likes to do it.

Lt. Reed:
The Captain?

Commander Tucker:
Got it the first time. Filled it with water a second time just so he could clear it again. I took him on a night dive once into some caves I'd been to a hundred times before, and for some reason I got a little lost. So what does Archer do? He swims ahead of me and finds a way out.

Lt. Reed:
I can't imagine why you'd have a problem with that.

Commander Tucker:
I was the instructor. I'd been diving all my life. Then big Mister Starfleet comes down and does everything faster and better than I could. That's when I decided to introduce him to old Waldo.

Lt. Reed:
And who was that?

Commander Tucker:
A green moray. It's said he's thirty years old. Must've been two-and-a-half meters long. So I took the Captain into Waldo's hole. Told him there was some beautiful starfish inside, and he reached in. Damned if old Waldo didn't take hold of his forearm.

Lt. Reed:
A moray eel? Are you out of your mind?

Commander Tucker:
I was breaking just about every rule in the book, but he was wearing titanium mesh. I figured the worst thing that could happen would be that Waldo would scare him a little. He deserved to have the piss taken out of him.

Lt. Reed:
So?

Commander Tucker:
No such luck. He pulled Waldo clear out of the hole. I don't think I'd ever seen that eel's tail before. He found some pressure point under it's lower jaw, right about here. Waldo just let go. Went back down his hole.

Lt. Reed:
That must have been the last time the Captain ever went diving with you.

Commander Tucker:
That's the thing. He found it all funnier than I did. He took me out to dinner that night. Steaks, lobsters... [sighs sadly] Kentucky bourbon.