Extras2005

[Andy has come to see Patrick Stewart in his trailer]

Patrick Stewart:
I'm writing a screenplay and I find the whole process absolutely exhilarating.

Andy Millman:
What's yours about, if you don't mind my asking?

Patrick Stewart:
Well, uh - how best to explain it; you've seen me in "X-Men"...

Andy Millman:
Yeah.

Patrick Stewart:
The character I am, Professor Charles Xavier, if you remember, he can control things with the power of his mind - can make people do things and see things, so I thought, what if you could do that for real? I mean, not in a comic book world, but in the real world.

Andy Millman:
Oh, all right.

Patrick Stewart:
So in my film, I play a man who controls the world with his mind.

Andy Millman:
Right. Oh, that's interesting.

Patrick Stewart:
Yeah. For instance, I'm walking along, and I see this beautiful girl, and I think I'd like to see her naked, and so all her clothes fall off.

Andy Millman:
All her - clothes fall off?

Patrick Stewart:
Yes, and she's scrabbling around to get them back on again, but even before she can get her knickers on, I've seen everything. Yeah. I've seen it all.

Andy Millman:
[pause] Okay. It's a comedy, is it?

Patrick Stewart:
No. It's about what would happen, you know, if these things were possible.

Andy Millman:
What's the story, though, what's the...

Patrick Stewart:
Well, I do other stuff; like I'm riding my bike in the park, and this policewoman says "Oi! You can't ride your bike on the grass!" and I go "Oh no?" And her uniform falls off, and she goes "Ahh!" and she's trying to cover up, but I've seen everything anyway. And I get on my bike and I ride off. On the grass.

Andy Millman:
[increasingly uncomfortable] So it's mainly you sort of go around seeing ladies' tits?

Patrick Stewart:
Mainly.