Family Fortunes1980

Les Dennis:
You're supposed to be accident-prone, yeah?

Eddie Rose:
Yes, I was on a roof one day, nine o'clock one morning, and I fell off, and slid down a garage roof and went through a downstairs window and cut me leg pretty bad. That was at nine o'clock in the morning. They took me to hospital, sewed me leg up, they put it in a casing, put me in the waiting room and by now it's about twelve o'clock. And they gave me a pair of crutches, they said "You can go home", I was on me way home, going out the hospital gates and the crutch slipped and I fell down and broke me finger.

[audience applauses and roars with laughter]

Les Dennis:
[while laughing] There's more yet! Hang on! And then?

Eddie Rose:
So, they took me to the surgery, put it in a splint, put me back in the waiting room, by now it's about half-past three. I said, "What time will you let me out?" They said, "You must go home in an ambulance this time". I waited until half-past four, the ambulance didn't come, so I sneaked out. And I'm halfway home, I saw a friend of mine up a ladder, he looked down at me, he was on the forecourt of a shop and he said, "What the hell have you been doing?" And I started to tell him, he said "I can't hear you, I'm coming down". So I held onto the bottom of the ladder, and he just slides some heavy equipment and I woke up in hospital with six stitches in me head.

[audience applauses and laughs even harder]