Fawlty Towers1975

Mrs. Richards:
Now listen to me: I booked a room with a bath. When I book a room with a bath, I expect to get a bath.

Basil Fawlty:
[indicating] You've got a bath!

Mrs. Richards:
I am not paying seven pounds, twenty pence per night, plus V.A.T., for a room without a bath.

Basil Fawlty:
[opening the bathroom door] There is your bath!

Mrs. Richards:
[looking at it] You call that a bath? It's not big enough to drown a mouse. It's disgraceful.

Basil Fawlty:
I wish you were a mouse.

Mrs. Richards:
And another thing. I asked for a room with a view.

Basil Fawlty:
[to Manuel then back to Mrs. Richard] Deaf, mad AND blind. Uh, this is the view as far as I can remember, madam. Yes. Yes, this is it.

Mrs. Richards:
When I pay for a view, I expect something more interesting than that.

Basil Fawlty:
[going to window, indicating] Well, that is Torquay, ma'am.

Mrs. Richards:
Well, it's not good enough.

Basil Fawlty:
Well, may I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeasts swinging majestically...

Mrs. Richards:
Don't be silly. I expect to be able to see the sea.

Basil Fawlty:
You CAN see the sea. It's over there, between the land and the sky.

Mrs. Richards:
I'd need a telescope to see that!

Basil Fawlty:
Well, may I suggest that you move to a hotel closer to the sea...

Basil Fawlty:
[sotto]... or preferably in it?