Fawlty Towers1975

Master Heath:
[to Basil] Haven't you got any PROPER chips?

Basil Fawlty:
Well, these ARE proper French-fried potatoes. You see, the chef IS Continental.

Master Heath:
Couldn't you get an English one?

Mrs. Heath:
Why don't you eat just one or two, dear?

Master Heath:
They're the wrong SHAPE.

Basil Fawlty:
Oh, dear... What shape you usually have? Mickey Mouse shape? Smarties shape? Amphibious landing-craft shape? Poke-in-the-eye shape?

Master Heath:
God, you're dumb.

Mrs. Heath:
Oh, now.

Basil Fawlty:
[gritting his teeth] Is there something we can get you instead, SONNY?

Master Heath:
I'd like some bread and salad cream.

Basil Fawlty:
To eat? Well, there's the bread, and there's the mayonnaise.

Master Heath:
I said "salad cream", stupid.

Basil Fawlty:
We don't HAVE any salad cream. The chef made this freshly this morning.

Master Heath:
What a dump!

Mr. Heath:
Th-h-h-h-h-h-h-his is very good.

Mrs. Heath:
[firmly] He likes salad cream.

Master Heath:
That's PUKE, that is.

Basil Fawlty:
Well, at least it's FRESH puke!