Frasier1993

Dr. Niles Crane:
[as the German butler, Hans] All right, all right, it's true! I'm not what I appear! None of us is! I'm not a butler; I'm not even... [in normal voice]... German.

Dr. Niles Crane:
Sit down, Inspector, you're about to hear a fascinating tale. Each of us holds a piece of the puzzle to relate to you. [Frasier is directing Niles, to Niles' dismay] When we're finished, you'll know the full, dark tale.

Roz:
[In an odd voice] Are you sure we should, Hans?

Dr. Niles Crane:
Be quiet, Mother! [Frasier cues organ music and continues directing Niles] Mother and I moved here after the tragic death of my father. [Angrily] I kept the pain of that loss buried deep within me like a... serpent... coiled within a... dark... cave. [Fed up with Frasier] Okay, that's it. Never mind all that. I'm just going to take this gun off the table. [Fake gunshot] So long, O'Toole; I guess we'll never get to hear your fascinating piece of the puzzle. [Two fake gunshots] Or yours, Kraegan and *Peppo!* Could the McCallister sisters stand back to back, I'm short on bullets? [Fake gunshot] Thank you. [to Roz] What was your name again, dear?

Roz:
Ms. Thorndyke...

Dr. Niles Crane:
[Fake gunshot] Thank you. Oh, and also Mr. Wing [Fake gunshot, and sound of muted bell on Mr. Wing's hat] . And, of course, one final bullet for myself, so the mystery will die with me [Fake gunshot] .

Dr. Niles Crane:
[Weakly] HA.