Garth Marenghi's Darkplace2004

Thornton Reed:
Dag! Any thoughts?

Dr. Rick Dagless:
I... don't know anything about it. Besides, i think there are more important matters at present.

Thornton Reed:
Could you give me an example?

Dr. Rick Dagless:
Like hospital *bloody* hygiene, I went into the gents and there was a big pube stuck to the pipe so i had to use the one in 'E' wing.

Dr Lucien Sanchez:
[interrupting] It's true! I went there two month-back and there was a piece of sh*t stuck to the seat!

Dr. Rick Dagless:
Well someones gonna have to pick that pube off the pipe and it ain't gonna be me!

Dr Liz Asher:
[interrupting] Come on, surely we can talk about something more sanitary!

Dr. Rick Dagless:
[immediately interrupting] As if your fanny never graced a pan!

Dr Lucien Sanchez:
Whats crawled up your crack?

Dr. Rick Dagless:
She has! Shes *so* up herself! [Liz is immediately upset, make-up running down her face. Sanch interrupts... ]

Dr Lucien Sanchez:
You shut your mouth, or so help me god i'll punch your lights out! [to Liz] Dunno what the hell's gotten into him! Come on Liz, i'll help you apply some more make-up.