Gilmore Girls2000

Kirk:
I have night terrors.

Luke:
Night terrors?

Kirk:
Basically, I freak out at beddy-bye. About an hour after I fall asleep, I wake up in panic. Everything around me seems threatening, scary, out to get me. Two nights ago, I was suddenly gripped with the overwhelming feeling that there was an assassin in my house.

Luke:
Jeez.

Kirk:
I had to get out of the room before he got me, so I jumped out of bed and locked my pillow in the bathroom.

Luke:
Why?

Kirk:
Because it was a bomb.

Luke:
Of course.

Kirk:
After neutralizing my pillow, I ran up the stairs, climbed out the bathroom window, scaled the trellis up the side of the house, and hid on the roof...

Luke:
Huh.

Kirk:
Completely naked.

Luke:
Aw, jeez!

Kirk:
The worst part of night terrors is it always ends up with me on top of the roof completely naked or running down the street completely naked or swimming in the community-center pool completely naked. That was the time I thought I was on fire.