Gilmore Girls2000

French Businessman:
[walks up to the front desk] Bonjour, monsieur. Vous ?tes Fran?ais? Vous parlez Fran?ais? [Hello, sir. Are you French, do you speak French?]

Michel:
No, sorry.

French Businessman:
Mais vous avez une accent Fran?ais. Vous parlez pas Fran?ais? [but you have a French accent. Don't you speak French?]

Michel:
Sir, I'm just a simple country boy from Texas. I do not understand this "Fran?ais" business you're babbling about.

Lorelai:
[approaches] Pardon. [takes Michel aside] He knows you are not from Texas.

Michel:
[looking over at the businessmen] Smile when you say that.

Lorelai:
Michel, I told you there would be a French group here for a couple of days, and it's your job to keep them happy.

Michel:
Lorelai, I don't know how many French people you've met over the years, but most of them are insufferable.

Lorelai:
[sarcastically] Really?

Michel:
Mm. That is why I left France.

Lorelai:
Huh. I thought it had something to do with the torches and the villagers. Michel, talk to them.

Michel:
Never. [turns away from Lorelai, she just glares at him] You are giving me that look, aren't you? Your patented "Do it or something unspeakable shall befall you" look. [pause, sighs] Fine, I shall be French, but I shall not be happy.

Lorelai:
Then you will be yourself. Good choice.

Michel:
[trudges over to the businessmen] Bonjour, messieurs. Je m'appelle Michel, ce soir pour vous aider. [Hello, gentlemen, my name is Michel, I am here to assist you]

French Businessman:
[laughs] Vous avez fait un blague to?t . l'heure! Tr?s dr?le, tr?s dr?le, Michel! [you played a joke just now! Very funny, very funny!] [kisses both his cheeks]

Michel:
[pretends to laugh, to Lorelai] Kill me now.