Gilmore Girls2000

Rory Gilmore:
Where is Michael and everyone else?

Bill:
Well, let's see. The sports department, city department, entertainment department, and feature department, other than you, have quit. Michael quit. Sylvia quit. Joni quit. Sheila's sick tonight, but as soon as she's better, she's going to quit.

Rory Gilmore:
Great.

Bill:
Oh, not done. The senior editor quit. The entire copy department quit. The little fellow who brought around sandwiches in the basket quit.

Rory Gilmore:
Okay, fine, I get it. Everyone quit.

Bill:
Not everyone, but close. It was quite an exodus, very biblical. All that was missing were the Cabala bracelets and the Matzo.

Rory Gilmore:
Whatever. We'll figure that out later. Right now I just need to finish my article, so I guess you and I can do it together.

Bill:
We could, but I quit, too.

Rory Gilmore:
What?

Bill:
Right after Joni. I bowed out. I actually bowed, physically bowed.

Rory Gilmore:
Then what are you doing here?

Bill:
Are you kidding, I'm going to have a ringside seat for the event of the century. Tonight will be the first time ever in the history of the Yale daily news that the paper does not come out.

Rory Gilmore:
Very nice.

Bill:
D-day, the paper came out. Kennedy gets shot, the paper comes out. But three months of the Geller reign of terror, and the whole damn institution comes tumbling down.

Rory Gilmore:
You suck, Bill.