Gilmore Girls2000

Taylor Doose:
Townspeople, we should all be proud of the new addition to our streets. I know many of you have wanted a traffic light and a crosswalk for many years...

Luke Danes:
What?

Taylor Doose:
- And now, your dream has come true.

Luke Danes:
It's like Hitler's Germany!

Taylor Doose:
Luke!

Luke Danes:
You're trying to brainwash us, Taylor. Telling us we want something that we don't, and not giving us any choice.

Lorelai Gilmore:
Luke, shush! We're planning.

Luke Danes:
I heard, and you're idiots if you don't eat first.

Taylor Doose:
Everybody, let me segue into the informational portion of our gathering. If I can turn your attention to the pole here, you will see a yellow button with an instructional panel right above it.

Miss Patty:
Oh my God. That's the biggest yellow button I've ever seen.

Taylor Doose:
Now if you'll read the panel above the button, you'll learn how the system works.

Miss Patty:
[reading the sign] To cross street, push yellow button, wait for walk signal. When signal reads WALK, step into street and proceed to the other side.

Luke Danes:
It's written for morons.

Babette Dell:
In big stupid letters too!

Morey Dell:
I hate being infantilized.

Taylor Doose:
Does no one here care about this fate of near accidents we have suffered over the past year?

Luke Danes:
NEAR accidents. Meaning they didn't happen.

Taylor Doose:
Just because they didn't happen doesn't mean that we shouldn't ward against them.

Luke Danes:
There's lots of things that don't happen that we don't ward against.

Taylor Doose:
Like?

Luke Danes:
Like... everything.

Taylor Doose:
So that everything doesn't happen here, meaning nothing happens?

Luke Danes:
No, it's - It's not nothing happens. Stuff happens. It's that it... it's not everything that's... it's... Damn it, Taylor!

Taylor Doose:
Ha!