Golan the Insatiable2013

[Richard opens Dylan's bedroom door, sees Dylan apparently asleep completely under the covers]

Richard:
Aww.

[Richard slips a dollar bill under the pillow, but is greeted by a metal clang as a bear trap snaps shut on his arm]

Richard:
[screaming] Oww! My arm!

Golan:
Tooth Fairy, meet your doom!

[Across the room with Dylan, who was not in the bed, Golan turns on the light]

Richard:
[sees the bear-trap clamped onto his arm] Oh! God!

Golan:
Richard, now what are you doing here?

Dylan Beekler:
Why are *you* giving me money?

Richard:
Ah! Uh-oh.

Dylan Beekler:
[with growing emotional betrayal on her face] Wait a minute. Were the other kids right? Is the Tooth Fairy made-up?

Golan:
Uh...

Dylan Beekler:
[threatening Golan with her mace] Golan? Have you been lying to me?

Golan:
Uh, no?

Dylan Beekler:
[as Richard nervously looks on] Golan, tell me the truth.

Golan:
Well, the thing is...

Dylan Beekler:
Golan, the truth!

Golan:
[taking the mace] Fine, fine, fine. I'll come clean. [Dylan looks up at Golan, tears forming in her eyes] The truth is...

Richard:
[interrupting] Uh, the- the truth is, I snuck in here... to steal the the money from the Tooth Fairy who is as real as this bone sticking out of my arm.

Golan:
[astonished] What? Really? But that's stealing.

Dylan Beekler:
Why would you do that, Father?

Golan:
Because he's unemployed! [laughs] I knew it!

Richard:
Yup. Golan's right. Can't hold down a job. Dylan, I hope you can forgive me.

Dylan Beekler:
*Never*! Golan says forgiveness is a sign of weakness! Now give me my Tooth Fairy money!

Richard:
[hands her the bill with his his fractured arm] Here you go, honey. [Dylan takes it] Aaah!