Grim & Evil2001

Master Control:
[monitor activates] I am Master Control, computer of the future.

Billy:
Aaahh!

[jumps on Grim's arms]

Grim:
That'd better be sweat dripping down your leg, boy.

Master Control:
I am programmed to run all of the machines at this attraction. My intelligence is beyond measure, I know everything there is to know, and I'm not too shabby at checkers.

Grim:
Wait, how can you know *everything*?

Master Control:
I just do, so there.

Grim:
If you know everything, then what's the meaning of life?

Master Control:
Life has no meaning, only machine intelligence is truly important on a cosmic scale.

Grim:
Hmm, I didn't think he'd get that one right.

Billy:
Oh, yeah? Then what's my favorite color?

Master Control:
Blue.

Billy:
What's the best kind of bean?

Master Control:
Pinto.

Billy:
Why is the sky blue?

Master Control:
Because of the refraction of sunlight through the water droplets in the sky.

Billy:
Why do I ask so many questions?

Master Control:
Because you're stupid!

Billy:
What's the color of my underwear?

Master Control:
White...

[raises an eyebrow]

Master Control:
...with pink frilly lace.

Billy:
[checks in his pants] Wow. It really does know everything.