Hawaii Five-02010

Bobby Raines:
BR: What's up, Honolulu? Let's light this candle. Hey, folks: welcome to the Bobby Raines Show, I am the aforementioned Bobby Raines as most of you know. Just a note, if you're going to send me fan mail, don't put your name on the front in crayon, because I'm not opening it. That's all I need to do is to find some rabbit pellets in there and I got Hantavirus: thank you. [hits button on soundboard marked "Insane Asylum"]

Bobby Raines:
BR: Five miles offshore today on the Snark Ark, because I'm not going onshore, I refuse to do it. I cannot go into the city anymore, I'm sorry. The kids in that Occupy Movement driving me absolutely crazy when I go by. [to Miles Rogers] To me, it appears to break down into two main groups, Uncle Fester. You've got the wide-eyed stoner kid who's hitting the gecko bong more frequently than one of Bob Marley's kids at a Phish concert, or else you have the disaffected rich kid who's [shouts] Gonna show my dad that I'm not part of the whole machine! You walk in his shoes, you walk in his shoes, I've just had enough!

Miles Rogers:
MR: So what are you trying to say, Bobby?

Bobby Raines:
BR: What I'm saying is its over, it's time to Zamboni off the loser ice and get these kids outta there! One man's saving the world as we know it is another man's vagrancy and at this point, I only see you as squatters who apparently don't know squat, all right? We've had enough of it, kids: time to go home now and get back in the basement, OK? And you know, they always hit me with "You don't have any compassion for the common man".

Bobby Raines:
BR: What, are you kidding me? I want to help the helpless, I don't want to help the clueless, and you have officially lapsed over into clueless, my friend. Listen: you're looking back on times that weren't even hip when they were hip. Woodstock was a mud hole with no cell coverage, all right, my man? You're a dreamer, you are a rebel without a clue, and I'm sorry to blow your mind, little Silver Surfer but guess what? It's a time in history when your mind deserves to be blown! [hits button marked "Boom": studio explodes]