Beach Party1963

Cappy:
Just one thing, Professor, will you level with me? What's with the feather duster? The beard? You think it moves the chicks?

Prof. Robert O. Sutwell:
No, it usually works the other way.

Cappy:
I don't dig. You don't want to level with me?

Prof. Robert O. Sutwell:
All right I'll level with you. When I first started out a Harvard, I was the youngest professor at the university. I was so young that it was sickening. No one took me seriously. Every time when I opened my mouth to speak, my students laughed, the other professors laughed, even the janitors laughted. Well, I knew it couldn't go on for long before I was fired, so one day at lunch, I sat down in the student cafeteria and presented my problem to this old professor friend of mine. And without even glancing up from his soup, he said to me: "buy yourself a pair of glasses and grow a beard." So you see, all of this is just 18 years of professor windowdressing.

Cappy:
Amazing how our lives parallel. You have that, and I have this.

Cappy:
You know why I grew this? I got a dimple in my chin and I didn't want anyone mistaking me for Kirk Douglas.

Prof. Robert O. Sutwell:
But you don't look anything like Kirk Douglas.

Cappy:
See? It works.