How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother2005



Barney Stinson:
[Barney visits Robin at the shooting range after Lily reveals to him Robin's post-breakup depression] Hey.

Robin Scherbatsky:
[Sees Barney and takes off earplugs, still sad] What's up? Thought you were going on some big date.

Barney Stinson:
Robin, I know you're upset.

Robin Scherbatsky:
What? No, I have I've never been happier, and this Anita sounds lovely. I'm so glad that the two of you just randomly happened to find each other. [angry tone] It just warms my frickin' heart [returns to pistol and fires again without earplugs, deafening Barney. Robin throws away pistol when she's out of rounds and catches breath]

Barney Stinson:
So you're not upset?

Robin Scherbatsky:
Of course, I'm upset, Barney. Don't you see how constantly talking about your conquests makes me feel like I'm just another number to you?

Barney Stinson:
But you're not just another number to me.

Robin Scherbatsky:
And now, you're taking Anita, who you barely know, on this amazing date, when I never got treated that way. It just, it just sucks, that's all, it just sucks. [pause]

Barney Stinson:
Wow, I knew I was bad at being a boyfriend, but I had no idea I'd be so much worse at being an ex-boyfriend. I'm sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?

Robin Scherbatsky:
Nothing, Barney. You've already proven I'm not important.

Barney Stinson:
Stop that, I'm serious. Ask me for anything.

Robin Scherbatsky:
Okay, don't sleep with Anita.

Barney Stinson:
Done.

Robin Scherbatsky:
Barney, of course you're going to sleep with her. Why else would you be taking her on this superdate?

Barney Stinson:
She's not going on this superdate, Robin. You are.

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